Place your jokes in this section. A little naughty will be tolerated but please no really vulgar ones!!! If you might be offended it may be better to bypass this section!!!
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Dirty jokes request
by
BruceS » Fri Jun 12, 2015 9:09 am
We all know that the population is made up of lots of people with varying opinions on what is acceptable and what's not acceptable so perhaps we can use our own judgement as to what might be suitable...
- 0 Replies
- 458 Views
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Last post by BruceS
Fri Jun 12, 2015 9:09 am
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Making Babies
Replies: 8
by
homeless » Sun Dec 09, 2018 5:21 pm
First post
For all you fellas who thought you had it right below is the instructions for making a baby that a friend has sent to me even though I feel for me it is a bit late..
Making a baby.
There is...
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For goodness sake you boys, just do it :lol: doesn't matter where you start as long as you finish in the right place :roll: Brian you know who I am ref to cuz you been there and done that :lol: :lol:...
- 8 Replies
- 150 Views
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Last post by Dot
Tue Dec 11, 2018 10:51 pm
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SEEN IN A STORE WINDOW...
Replies: 2
by
Chuck » Mon Dec 10, 2018 11:03 am
First post
SEEN IN A STORE WINDOW IN SCOTLAND
'WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH 1000 AL QAEDA TERRORISTS THAN WITH ONE SINGLE BRITISH SOLDIER.'
This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a...
Last post
I hope he is VERY VERY busy and then opens a business here in Australia. We have plenty of customers here for him.
- 2 Replies
- 79 Views
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Last post by homeless
Mon Dec 10, 2018 6:20 pm
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One for Chuck
Replies: 10
by
pet-els » Sun Aug 26, 2018 4:07 pm
First post
Police work can be entertaining as well as dangerous.
Recently, a female Sheriff's Deputy arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22 year old white male, who was fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of a...
Last post
So, is this what it feels like to be popular... :?: :D
- 10 Replies
- 204 Views
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Last post by Chuck
Sun Dec 09, 2018 8:57 am
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Duck!
Replies: 5
by
Greynomad » Wed Nov 21, 2018 2:29 pm
First post
Q: Why did the duck cross the road alone?
A: Because his mate was chicken.
Ba-boom TISH! 🤣
Last post
:roll:
- 5 Replies
- 181 Views
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Last post by Greynomad
Fri Nov 30, 2018 11:36 am
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Roads
by
Greynomad » Wed Nov 21, 2018 2:17 pm
Q: What is the difference between the roads built by the Romans in England and the roads built there by present-day councils?
A: The roads built by the Romans have lasted to the present day....
- 0 Replies
- 55 Views
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Last post by Greynomad
Wed Nov 21, 2018 2:17 pm
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M/h For Sale - Home Conversion
Replies: 9
by
Greynomad » Wed Nov 14, 2018 2:58 pm
First post
We found our next motorhome!!!
A Home conversion....
Next mh!!.jpg
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Last post
Oops!
You’re right...
I filed the pic (along with pics of all the sculptures) with my 60+ pics of the THH, and they were all labelled “THH, Kulin”. Must change the Hyden labels...
:oops: :oops:
- 9 Replies
- 153 Views
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Last post by Greynomad
Thu Nov 15, 2018 12:12 am
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Electric fence
Replies: 4
by
flexitdriver » Sat Nov 10, 2018 10:09 am
First post
I just built an electric fence around my property.
My neighbour is dead against it.
Last post
Gosnells ....... Break-in Capital of Perth ( wikipedia)
Mate is it a cattle fence type or full 240v power ? :roll:
When my Dad came over to WA in the late 60's with his FC and 14' Millard he...
- 4 Replies
- 242 Views
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Last post by Noggins
Sat Nov 10, 2018 9:29 pm
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Divorce
Replies: 3
by
Greynomad » Wed Oct 17, 2018 12:39 pm
First post
In the news today, an 84 year old farmer has divorced his 18 year old wife because he couldn’t keep his hands off her.
He has since sacked all his hands and bought a combine harvester. :lol:
Last post
What it was all about me thinks...???
Vik..
- 3 Replies
- 183 Views
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Last post by vik351
Tue Nov 06, 2018 6:20 pm
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Bar jokes
Replies: 13
by
Greynomad » Sat Jun 23, 2018 2:21 pm
First post
A jumper lead walks into a bar.
The barman says, “I’ll serve you, just don’t start anything!”
##################
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
:?
Last post
Shamelessly stolen from another forum.
T1,
I might be just a bit slow on this one.
Just noticed your comment while browsing old jokes here.
FYI, I lifted this one from a book I inherited from...
- 13 Replies
- 312 Views
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Last post by Greynomad
Sun Nov 04, 2018 1:34 am
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News Burglar
Replies: 4
by
Greynomad » Tue Oct 23, 2018 5:05 pm
First post
Police are searching for a thief who steals the last page of TV news items.
He is described as Caucasian, about 175cm tall, wearing a brown suede jacket with jeans and carrying a big
Last post
Ha Ha Ha. What Vik said. :lol: :lol: :lol: :roll: :roll: :roll:
The penny dropped... :D
The last bit has bin stolen ...!!!
One has to think like a “sky pilot” a bit...!!!
dounous po...
- 4 Replies
- 118 Views
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Last post by vik351
Tue Oct 23, 2018 10:42 pm
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Oirish astrology.
Replies: 5
by
Chuck » Mon Oct 15, 2018 8:39 am
First post
During his routine medical check, Paddy asked the doctor...
Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life?
I doubt it , said the doctor, Mercury is in Uranus right now.
Paddy said, I...
Last post
LOL... and I thought dey was gunna land on the sun at night...!!!
Vik... :P
An oldie but a goodie, Vik. :P
For those who have not heard it:
The Irish Space Agency plans to send a team to...
- 5 Replies
- 139 Views
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Last post by vik351
Tue Oct 16, 2018 7:35 pm
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British Gentleman with a problem...
Replies: 3
by
Chuck » Tue Oct 02, 2018 8:56 am
First post
British businessman in Darwin, rings the 'HELP' line...
G'day Mate. Aussie Help Line here... what's the problem?
I'm in Darwin on business & my umm... lady friend has been stung on...
Last post
In that case Dot, you'll need to ask a redhead. ;)
- 3 Replies
- 133 Views
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Last post by Chuck
Wed Oct 03, 2018 8:20 am
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Breakfast Order.
Replies: 2
by
Chuck » Tue Sep 25, 2018 8:23 am
First post
An old man goes into a restaurant and is seated.
All the waitresses are gorgeous.
A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a low cut top, very short skirt and legs that won’t quit,
came to...
Last post
Umm... :? :oops: :lol:
- 2 Replies
- 136 Views
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Last post by Chuck
Thu Sep 27, 2018 8:55 am
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Go Fish
by
Greynomad » Wed Sep 19, 2018 12:12 pm
Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: A fsh.
:roll: :lol:
- 0 Replies
- 81 Views
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Last post by Greynomad
Wed Sep 19, 2018 12:12 pm
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Lightglobe changing
Replies: 5
by
Greynomad » Sun Sep 09, 2018 12:38 am
First post
How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightglobe?
Last post
Q: How many psychologists does it take to change a lightglobe.
A: Only one. But the lightglobe has to really want to change.
- 5 Replies
- 287 Views
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Last post by Greynomad
Sat Sep 15, 2018 12:59 am
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Sleep question
Replies: 7
by
Greynomad » Fri Sep 07, 2018 8:54 pm
First post
Why, when we can’t sleep, are we told to count sheep?
Why not count goats, pigs or dogs?
Answer: Sheep are easier to count because they are baa-coded.
:lol: :P
Last post
I was told that was the method used for the Tasmanian Census: count the number of heads and divide by two...
:lol: :?
I shall now run for the hills... :P
- 7 Replies
- 341 Views
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Last post by Greynomad
Wed Sep 12, 2018 2:58 pm
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Marriage fun
by
Greynomad » Sat Sep 08, 2018 11:59 pm
Did you hear about the stripper who married a clown?
They ended up in a comic strip.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
- 0 Replies
- 63 Views
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Last post by Greynomad
Sat Sep 08, 2018 11:59 pm
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Paddy's girlfriend.
Replies: 4
by
Chuck » Fri Aug 24, 2018 8:57 am
First post
Paddy, the Irish boyfriend of the woman whose head was found on Arbroath beach was asked to identify her.
A detective held up the head... & Paddy said:
I don't think that's her, she wasn't...
Last post
:lol: :lol:
- 4 Replies
- 227 Views
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Last post by Helen Grose
Wed Aug 29, 2018 7:41 am
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Menu choices
by
Greynomad » Mon Aug 27, 2018 10:39 pm
Chap takes his girlfriend to a high class restaurant.
As he peruses the menu, he looks over the top and asks her, “How do you like your rice, boiled, steamed or fried?”
She flutters her eyelashes...
- 0 Replies
- 53 Views
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Last post by Greynomad
Mon Aug 27, 2018 10:39 pm
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Jock's wedding...
Replies: 3
by
Chuck » Fri Aug 24, 2018 8:53 am
First post
Two Glasgow boys, Archie and Jock, are sitting in the pub discussing Jock’s forthcoming wedding.
‘Aye, it’s all going like magic,’ says Jock. ‘I've got everything organised already: the flowers,...
Last post
:lol: :lol: :lol:
- 3 Replies
- 83 Views
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Last post by BillieBlue
Sat Aug 25, 2018 6:53 am
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Scottish Love Story
Replies: 4
by
nut17 » Fri Aug 17, 2018 5:55 pm
First post
SCOTTISH LOVE STORY
An elderly Scotsman lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite pan fried drop scones wafting up the...
Last post
That's a gooden'. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
- 4 Replies
- 78 Views
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Last post by BillieBlue
Sun Aug 19, 2018 7:22 am
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Missing wife
Replies: 3
by
pet-els » Mon Aug 13, 2018 11:10 am
First post
My wife is missing!!!!!!!!
Husband:
My wife is missing.
She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!
Sheriff: Height ?
Husband: I'm not sure. A little...
Last post
Her name is Beril and she's at the pub. :o :D :D
- 3 Replies
- 74 Views
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Last post by BillieBlue
Mon Aug 13, 2018 2:54 pm
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Lion Tamer.
Replies: 4
by
Chuck » Wed Aug 08, 2018 9:00 am
First post
A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up.
One is a good looking, older retired golfer in his 70’s and the other is a gorgeous blonde in her mid-twenties.
The circus...
Last post
Chuck, I don't know where you get them from, but keep 'em coming. Loved it! :D :D :lol:
- 4 Replies
- 115 Views
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Last post by supersparky
Sun Aug 12, 2018 6:43 pm
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Wine Measures
Replies: 10
by
Greynomad » Sat Jul 14, 2018 11:54 am
First post
Wine Measures
2 Sips make 1 Glass
2 Glasses make 1 Litre
2 Litres make 2 Bottles
2 Bottles make 1 Sick
Last post
MONGREL Wayne :) yes there is no point in me even cracking a bottle of anything, no taste at all or if a bit it is certainly different to anything? STEAK you say Wayne?? would you like a steel or...
- 10 Replies
- 126 Views
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Last post by T1 Terry
Mon Jul 23, 2018 12:09 pm
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