Place your jokes in this section. A little naughty will be tolerated but please no really vulgar ones!!! If you might be offended it may be better to bypass this section!!!
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Dirty jokes request
by
BruceS » Fri Jun 12, 2015 9:09 am
We all know that the population is made up of lots of people with varying opinions on what is acceptable and what's not acceptable so perhaps we can use our own judgement as to what might be suitable...
- 0 Replies
- 494 Views
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Last post by BruceS
Fri Jun 12, 2015 9:09 am
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Oh Hell No
Replies: 2
by
Dot » Sat Feb 16, 2019 5:20 pm
First post
On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began...
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Good one Dot :roll:
- 2 Replies
- 71 Views
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Last post by supersparky
Sun Feb 17, 2019 12:59 pm
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Keeping a low profile.
Replies: 6
by Kit Kat » Tue Apr 23, 2013 11:40 am
First post
A man and woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant. They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands.
Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps...
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RSPCA Approved :lol:
- 6 Replies
- 226 Views
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Last post by Dot
Thu Feb 14, 2019 12:34 am
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Just a good Laugh
Replies: 5
by
Dot » Sun Jan 20, 2019 6:53 pm
First post
THIS IS AN ACTUAL CUSTOMER REVIEW FROM A MAN ON
AFTER USING VEET HAIR REMOVAL CREAM FOR MEN.
After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and...
Last post
Don’t think I’ll share this one with SWMBO...
She might have more reasons for rejecting the application! 😜 🤭 😢
- 5 Replies
- 171 Views
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Last post by Greynomad
Tue Feb 12, 2019 1:47 pm
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Tight Skirt
Replies: 2
by
Dot » Sun Feb 03, 2019 5:14 pm
First post
As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with...
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An oldie but a goodie.
- 2 Replies
- 123 Views
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Last post by Macca
Fri Feb 08, 2019 10:16 am
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Eighty Mile Mick
Replies: 1
by
Greynomad » Mon Feb 04, 2019 10:37 pm
First post
I read recently that in the timber country of North East NSW, there was a bullocky known as ‘Eighty Mile Mick’.
His mates apparently called him ‘Seventy-Nine Mile Mick’ for short.
:D :P :lol:
Last post
Apparently the bush where he hauled logs was so thick a dog couldn’t bark in it. 😳
- 1 Replies
- 77 Views
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Last post by Greynomad
Tue Feb 05, 2019 5:08 pm
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A Beautiful Climbing Rose.
Replies: 3
by
Chuck » Thu Jan 31, 2019 11:09 am
First post
Oh what a tangled language English is and how easy it is to misconstrue.....!
This just shows we must not believe in Google absolutely!
A man takes a lady out to dinner for the first time....
Last post
Two girls chatting about the weekend coming up
The brunet says “I hope Chaz doesent buy me 12 red roses again on Friday”
The blondie “Oh how sweet,wish my boyfriend would do that”
The bru “...
- 3 Replies
- 87 Views
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Last post by Vik351
Thu Jan 31, 2019 11:21 pm
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Travel Plans.
Replies: 7
by
Chuck » Mon Jan 28, 2019 8:38 am
First post
I have been in many places, but I've never been in Kahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone, you have to be in Kahoots with someone.
I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you...
Last post
Bet I beat all of you. :lol: :lol:
- 7 Replies
- 176 Views
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Last post by Dot
Wed Jan 30, 2019 5:24 pm
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Red Necks
Replies: 8
by
Dot » Sun Jan 20, 2019 4:12 pm
First post
After their 11th child, a Kentucky couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So, the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to...
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Well, that was the official line, but I'm guess the reality was he was making so much with much less effort from his premium meat and grocery supply to the fine dining houses the Dick Smith Foods...
- 8 Replies
- 223 Views
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Last post by T1 Terry
Tue Jan 29, 2019 6:33 pm
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SOS
Replies: 1
by
pet-els » Sat Jan 26, 2019 11:53 am
First post
An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h at 30,000 feet, when suddenly a Eurofighter with Tempo Mach 2 appears.
The pilot of the fighter jet slows down,...
Last post
Good one Peter, I like that way of thinking! :lol: :lol: :roll:
- 1 Replies
- 82 Views
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Last post by supersparky
Sat Jan 26, 2019 3:48 pm
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3 virgin sisters marry
Replies: 1
by
Dot » Tue Jan 22, 2019 4:20 pm
First post
Three virgin sisters were all getting married within a short time period.
Mum was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started and made them all promise to
send a postcard from the...
Last post
No wonder the writing was shaky, the action might have still been happening :lol:
- 1 Replies
- 84 Views
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Last post by T1 Terry
Wed Jan 23, 2019 11:00 am
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- 0 Replies
- 51 Views
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Last post by Greynomad
Wed Jan 23, 2019 9:32 am
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Johnny again
Replies: 1
by
Dot » Sat Jan 19, 2019 7:05 pm
First post
Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office,
But she belonged to someone else...
One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to
her and said, I'll give you a £100 if you let me...
Last post
Hmmmmm...
Maybe I’ll try that...
SWMBO is always asking me to empty my wallet... 😜
- 1 Replies
- 115 Views
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Last post by Greynomad
Mon Jan 21, 2019 6:58 pm
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How do you .......
Replies: 13
by
T1 Terry » Tue Jan 08, 2019 2:58 pm
First post
A starter that should get a laugh from some, maybe not from others though ;)
How do you milk a sheep?
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Last post
How do you win Lotto... :?
Buy a ticket, and hope its the right one! :lol: :lol:
But what if you're left handed ?
Then you,ll never win Chuck.... :lol: :lol: :lol:
- 13 Replies
- 361 Views
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Last post by norman
Mon Jan 21, 2019 5:47 pm
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Life Explained
Replies: 2
by
Dot » Sat Jan 19, 2019 6:55 pm
First post
On the first day God created the dog and said:
'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or
walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'
The...
Last post
Dottie,
You’ve been reading my mail again...
😜
- 2 Replies
- 118 Views
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Last post by Greynomad
Sun Jan 20, 2019 5:02 pm
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Drs Visit
by
Dot » Sat Jan 19, 2019 6:58 pm
After a visit to a massage parlour, a man discovers a painful lump on his penis, so he goes to see his GP.
'I'm afraid this is serious,' the doctor says after examining
him.. 'You know how rugby...
- 0 Replies
- 84 Views
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Last post by Dot
Sat Jan 19, 2019 6:58 pm
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One for Chuck
Replies: 9
by
pet-els » Sun Dec 16, 2018 9:59 am
First post
Better than a Flu
Shot!
Miss Beatrice,
The church organist,
Was in her eighties
And had never been married. She was admired for her
sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor...
Last post
Husband to wife
Why don't you let me know when your having an orgasm?
Wife to husband
I don't like to call you at work.
George
Oh yeah :lol:
- 9 Replies
- 369 Views
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Last post by Dot
Thu Jan 17, 2019 6:29 pm
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Lady check up
Replies: 4
by
Dot » Sun Jan 13, 2019 4:41 pm
First post
So, I went in for a routine lady checkup, right... And of course I scrubbed and shaved like I was going on a first date with with the man of my dreams.. And I decide I'm gonna go with the new body...
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I never thought anything would beat our BAYING TO THE MOON ...
But you you just did Dot.
Onya mate!! xxx
- 4 Replies
- 183 Views
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Last post by Chuck
Wed Jan 16, 2019 10:32 am
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Hitch hiker...
Replies: 1
by
Chuck » Wed Jan 09, 2019 10:42 am
First post
I PICKED UP A HITCH-HIKER. SEEMED LIKE A NICE GUY.
AFTER A FEW KILOMETERS HE ASKED ME IF I WASN'T AFRAID HE MIGHT BE A SERIAL KILLER?
I TOLD HIM THE ODDS OF TWO SERIAL KILLERS BEING IN THE SAME...
Last post
Another good one Chuck. :lol: :lol: :lol:
- 1 Replies
- 132 Views
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Last post by supersparky
Wed Jan 09, 2019 2:21 pm
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Why I don't Go Fishing
Replies: 3
by
Greynomad » Sat Jan 05, 2019 5:26 pm
First post
This is why I don't like fishing...
Toon - Fishing.JPG
... and after starting with my cousin on Lake Macquarie (NSW) at age 10, here's my first catch (at age 68, in Esperance, WA).
My First...
Last post
Sent from my SM-J250G using Tapatalk
- 3 Replies
- 167 Views
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Last post by Helen Grose
Tue Jan 08, 2019 1:01 pm
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- 0 Replies
- 95 Views
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Last post by Greynomad
Sat Jan 05, 2019 5:28 pm
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Tickets.
by
Chuck » Thu Jan 03, 2019 10:30 am
Rangers v Celtic.
I don’t know if this interests you or if you can help in any way.
A friend of mine has two tickets in a corporate box for Rangers v Celtic 29th Jan..
He paid £300 each,...
- 0 Replies
- 64 Views
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Last post by Chuck
Thu Jan 03, 2019 10:30 am
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Names...
Replies: 15
by
Greynomad » Tue Jan 01, 2019 11:56 am
First post
SWMBO taught some kids with strange names...
Most were of foreign origin, translating their names from their native language into English: Rising Star is one Asian girl who springs to mind... the...
Last post
T1,
I think you’re right.
I doubt there are many apprenticeship jokes to top that!
Good one!!!
:lol: :lol: :lol:
- 15 Replies
- 273 Views
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Last post by Greynomad
Thu Jan 03, 2019 8:10 am
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Rare tools
Replies: 3
by
idexnz » Wed Jan 02, 2019 3:00 pm
First post
If ever in Invercargill, NZ you must call into Hayes Hammer Hardware in the central city. Amongst a lot of other very interesting things they have a cabinet containing some fascinating rare tools....
Last post
I have an Irish Chainsaw hanging in our ODLA... :D :lol:
IMG_1230.JPG
- 3 Replies
- 125 Views
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Last post by Greynomad
Wed Jan 02, 2019 3:51 pm
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A fart joke
Replies: 2
by
Dot » Sun Dec 30, 2018 7:46 pm
First post
A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts.
Very embarrassed, she...
Last post
Fact or fiction...???
Some knob on tv ,a pommy, reckons he was with the queen and the mob on horses for some fancy reason and the queens horse farted...
She turned around to this bloke and said...
- 2 Replies
- 132 Views
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Last post by Vik351
Mon Dec 31, 2018 12:15 am
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