One for Chuck

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pet-els
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One for Chuck

Post by pet-els »

Police work can be entertaining as well as dangerous.

Recently, a female Sheriff's Deputy arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22 year old white male, who was fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of a field at night. The next day, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency and public intoxication. The suspect explained that he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop.

'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles, or at least I thought there was no one around,' he stated. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need. 'Guess I was really into it, y'know?' he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching sheriff's car and was unaware of his audience until Deputy Brenda Taylor approached him. 'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Deputy Taylor. 'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just humping away at this pumpkin.'

Deputy Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence ... 'I said excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?’

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said, 'A pumpkin? Shit ... Is it midnight already?'”

The court (and the judge) could not contain their laughter. Lawrence was found guilty only of public intoxication, fined $10.00 and sent on his way.

The Washington Post wrote an article describing this as "The best comeback line ever." :lol: :lol: :lol:

PeterH
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Dot
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Re: One for Chuck

Post by Dot »

Good one Peter :lol: :lol:
Queen of the Banal & OT chatter and proud of it. If it offends you then tough titty titty bang bang.
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BillieBlue
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Re: One for Chuck

Post by BillieBlue »

Love it. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Chuck
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Re: One for Chuck

Post by Chuck »

I'll pay that one... :lol:
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aka Geriatric Gypsies.

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pet-els
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Re: One for Chuck

Post by pet-els »

Subject: I had it all

I talked with a homeless man this morning and asked him how he ended up

this way. He said, "Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat,

my clothes were washed and pressed.





"I had a roof over my head, I had HDTV and Internet, and I went to the

gym, the pool, and the library.





“I was working on my MBA on-line. I had no bills and no debt. I even had

full medical coverage."





I felt sorry for him, so I asked, "What happened, drugs, alcohol, divorce?"





"Oh no, nothing like that," he said. "No, no....I was paroled.”

PeterH
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Vik351
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Location: Adelaide SA

Re: One for Chuck

Post by Vik351 »

pet-els wrote: Sun Dec 02, 2018 8:46 am Subject: I had it all

I talked with a homeless man this morning and asked him how he ended up

this way. He said, "Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat,

my clothes were washed and pressed.





"I had a roof over my head, I had HDTV and Internet, and I went to the

gym, the pool, and the library.





“I was working on my MBA on-line. I had no bills and no debt. I even had

full medical coverage."





I felt sorry for him, so I asked, "What happened, drugs, alcohol, divorce?"





"Oh no, nothing like that," he said. "No, no....I was paroled.”

PeterH
The locksmith workin on the Espie and I were talkin about stuff like that and how one night in town on a call he was at the red lights and a hobo ran up to the front of his car,bumped into it and then lay on the road.

Short story, he called the cops, they came, “Oh thats fkn Bill again, he just wants a warm bed in hospital for the night,does it all the time” :roll:

Vik... :roll: :roll: :roll:
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Helen Grose
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Re: One for Chuck

Post by Helen Grose »

Hahaha I love that [emoji1787][emoji1787]

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Helen Grose
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Re: One for Chuck

Post by Helen Grose »

They are all very good I get a good laugh
Helen

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supersparky
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Re: One for Chuck

Post by supersparky »

Has anybody else noticed that there are TWO One for Chuck threads.
Cheers
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dapope
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Re: One for Chuck

Post by dapope »

supersparky wrote: Sat Dec 08, 2018 9:45 pm Has anybody else noticed that there are TWO One for Chuck threads.
Need renaming
Two for Chuck
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