Getting Older
- Dot
- Posts: 23547
- Joined: Fri Nov 23, 2012 6:12 pm
- Location: Strathalbyn SA
Getting Older
I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
Old age is coming at a really bad time.
When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.
The biggest lie I tell myself is ”I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
I don’t have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights"! I’m just very wise.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.
Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
At my age “Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
Actually I'm not complaining because I am a Senager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant. And I don’t have acne.
Life is great.
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
Old age is coming at a really bad time.
When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.
The biggest lie I tell myself is ”I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
I don’t have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights"! I’m just very wise.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.
Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
At my age “Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
Actually I'm not complaining because I am a Senager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant. And I don’t have acne.
Life is great.
Queen of the Banal & OT chatter and proud of it. If it offends you then tough titty titty bang bang.
- norman
- Posts: 1967
- Joined: Fri Nov 23, 2012 1:14 pm
- Location: Home Base...Paeroa.NZ OZ Base. Where ever we happen to be.......
- Contact:
Re: Getting Older
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than speak and remove all doubt....
If at first you dont succeed, Skydiving is not for you.
If at first you dont succeed, Skydiving is not for you.
- Dot
- Posts: 23547
- Joined: Fri Nov 23, 2012 6:12 pm
- Location: Strathalbyn SA
Re: Getting Older
bah bah bah
Queen of the Banal & OT chatter and proud of it. If it offends you then tough titty titty bang bang.
- Greynomad
- Posts: 8021
- Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2012 4:16 pm
- Location: Rutherglen, Vic.
Re: Getting Older
Sorry Dottie,
It’s SHEEP that go bah-bah.
Fat cows go “MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”
It’s SHEEP that go bah-bah.
Fat cows go “MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”
Regards & God bless,
Ray
--
"Insufficient data for a meaningful answer."
Isaac Asimov, "The Last Question"
"I refuse to drink water, because of the disgusting things fish do in it"
W.C.Fields
Ray
--
"Insufficient data for a meaningful answer."
Isaac Asimov, "The Last Question"
"I refuse to drink water, because of the disgusting things fish do in it"
W.C.Fields
- Dot
- Posts: 23547
- Joined: Fri Nov 23, 2012 6:12 pm
- Location: Strathalbyn SA
Re: Getting Older
I was saying hi to the old sheep shagger
Queen of the Banal & OT chatter and proud of it. If it offends you then tough titty titty bang bang.
- norman
- Posts: 1967
- Joined: Fri Nov 23, 2012 1:14 pm
- Location: Home Base...Paeroa.NZ OZ Base. Where ever we happen to be.......
- Contact:
Re: Getting Older
Lost me velcro gloves M8
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than speak and remove all doubt....
If at first you dont succeed, Skydiving is not for you.
If at first you dont succeed, Skydiving is not for you.
- Dot
- Posts: 23547
- Joined: Fri Nov 23, 2012 6:12 pm
- Location: Strathalbyn SA
Re: Getting Older
Shall bring you some new ones for you xx
Queen of the Banal & OT chatter and proud of it. If it offends you then tough titty titty bang bang.
- Vik351
- Posts: 1225
- Joined: Sat Aug 05, 2017 3:50 pm
- Location: Adelaide SA
Re: Getting Older
What The...???
Aint ya got knee high boots...???
vik...
Merk 4x4 VF30 519 CDI 2020 LWB V6TD 3 ltr 6 wheeler ,Tenorite Grey ... yep, it's not white ...!!!
- norman
- Posts: 1967
- Joined: Fri Nov 23, 2012 1:14 pm
- Location: Home Base...Paeroa.NZ OZ Base. Where ever we happen to be.......
- Contact:
Re: Getting Older
No Lost me gummies in Taihape, gumboot throwing capital of NZ..
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than speak and remove all doubt....
If at first you dont succeed, Skydiving is not for you.
If at first you dont succeed, Skydiving is not for you.
- Greynomad
- Posts: 8021
- Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2012 4:16 pm
- Location: Rutherglen, Vic.
Re: Getting Older
Growing old is mandatory.
Growing up is optional.
I know. An oldie, but still a goodie.
Growing up is optional.
I know. An oldie, but still a goodie.
Regards & God bless,
Ray
--
"Insufficient data for a meaningful answer."
Isaac Asimov, "The Last Question"
"I refuse to drink water, because of the disgusting things fish do in it"
W.C.Fields
Ray
--
"Insufficient data for a meaningful answer."
Isaac Asimov, "The Last Question"
"I refuse to drink water, because of the disgusting things fish do in it"
W.C.Fields