Translations go feral

Place your jokes in this section. A little naughty will be tolerated but please no really vulgar ones!!! If you might be offended it may be better to bypass this section!!!
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Dot
Posts: 23479
Joined: Fri Nov 23, 2012 6:12 pm
Location: Strathalbyn SA

Translations go feral

Post by Dot »

A friend went to Beijing recently and was given this brochure by the hotel. It is precious.
She is keeping it and reading it whenever she feels depressed.
Obviously, it has been translated directly, word for word from Mandarin to English.

Getting There:
Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.

The Hotel:
This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self.

The Restaurant:
Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.

Your Room:
Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! .. You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.

Bed:
Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.

Above All:
When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it.
Queen of the Banal & OT chatter and proud of it. If it offends you then tough titty titty bang bang.
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Greynomad
Posts: 7983
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2012 4:16 pm
Location: Rutherglen, Vic.

Re: Translations go feral

Post by Greynomad »

Dottie,
If that is genuine, and not an internet invention, it deserves world-wide circulation!

Priceless!!!
Regards & God bless,
Ray
--
"Insufficient data for a meaningful answer."
Isaac Asimov, "The Last Question"

"I refuse to drink water, because of the disgusting things fish do in it"
W.C.Fields
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jon_d
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Joined: Thu Apr 11, 2013 6:37 pm
Location: bedford

Re: Translations go feral

Post by jon_d »

Seen in a bus from Tokyo to the airport;
On the toilet door in the bus.

No Dumping allowed. (true story)
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supersparky
Posts: 7235
Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2012 7:00 pm
Location: Home on the beautiful Gold Coast for a while.

Re: Translations go feral

Post by supersparky »

When I get on the 'puter i will post some of the chinglish that we found when we toured there a while back. Nothing will top Dots version though. :lol:
Cheers
David

David and Terrie with Bandit the travelling companion
2006 Winnebago Alpine
Recently retired and loving it.
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Greynomad
Posts: 7983
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2012 4:16 pm
Location: Rutherglen, Vic.

Re: Translations go feral

Post by Greynomad »

One of the ABC Radio announcers mentioned that on a trip to China some years ago he saw billboards urging citizens to “Encourage rape in the country”. 😳

It was referring to Rapeseed, since rebranded as Canola.
😜😁
Regards & God bless,
Ray
--
"Insufficient data for a meaningful answer."
Isaac Asimov, "The Last Question"

"I refuse to drink water, because of the disgusting things fish do in it"
W.C.Fields
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