Naughty Monks
- Dot
- Posts: 23480
- Joined: Fri Nov 23, 2012 6:12 pm
- Location: Strathalbyn SA
Naughty Monks
Twelve monks were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up nude, in a garden while a nude model danced before them. Each monk had a small bell attached to his privates, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of purity. The model danced before the first monk candidate, with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response, until she got to the final monk. As she danced, his bell rang so loudly it fell off and clattered to the ground. Embarrassed, he bent down to pick up the bell, and all the other bells went off!!
Queen of the Banal & OT chatter and proud of it. If it offends you then tough titty titty bang bang.
- Greynomad
- Posts: 7986
- Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2012 4:16 pm
- Location: Rutherglen, Vic.
Re: Naughty Monks
DOTTIE!!
Shame on you!
Those poor bells....
Shame on you!
Those poor bells....
Regards & God bless,
Ray
--
"Insufficient data for a meaningful answer."
Isaac Asimov, "The Last Question"
"I refuse to drink water, because of the disgusting things fish do in it"
W.C.Fields
Ray
--
"Insufficient data for a meaningful answer."
Isaac Asimov, "The Last Question"
"I refuse to drink water, because of the disgusting things fish do in it"
W.C.Fields
- Dot
- Posts: 23480
- Joined: Fri Nov 23, 2012 6:12 pm
- Location: Strathalbyn SA
Re: Naughty Monks
Poor bells !!! what about the poor monk?
Queen of the Banal & OT chatter and proud of it. If it offends you then tough titty titty bang bang.
- Greynomad
- Posts: 7986
- Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2012 4:16 pm
- Location: Rutherglen, Vic.
Re: Naughty Monks
A group of drovers were driving a mob through outback Queensland.
One night they camped unwittingly close to a bullant nest.
Most of the boys spent the evening meal swatting ants and yelling when they were made painfully aware that they had missed one.
One drover sat quietly, being bitten over and over. He slagged off at the others and called them names their mothers never gave them.
After about an hour of insults, the other drovers ganged up on him.
They stripped him naked and tied him to a fencepost next to the ant nest.
About midnight they were woken by the man's yelling and screaming, "Get off! Go away!"
This kept happening about every half hour all night.
The other drovers laughed, rolled over and went back to sleep.
Next morning they went to untie him and found him drooping and exhausted.
"Not so tough now." they said, "Those ants really hurt, don't they?"
He regained a little strength and replied.
"Bugger the bloody ants," he said, "I'll strangle that bloody poddy calf!"
One night they camped unwittingly close to a bullant nest.
Most of the boys spent the evening meal swatting ants and yelling when they were made painfully aware that they had missed one.
One drover sat quietly, being bitten over and over. He slagged off at the others and called them names their mothers never gave them.
After about an hour of insults, the other drovers ganged up on him.
They stripped him naked and tied him to a fencepost next to the ant nest.
About midnight they were woken by the man's yelling and screaming, "Get off! Go away!"
This kept happening about every half hour all night.
The other drovers laughed, rolled over and went back to sleep.
Next morning they went to untie him and found him drooping and exhausted.
"Not so tough now." they said, "Those ants really hurt, don't they?"
He regained a little strength and replied.
"Bugger the bloody ants," he said, "I'll strangle that bloody poddy calf!"
Regards & God bless,
Ray
--
"Insufficient data for a meaningful answer."
Isaac Asimov, "The Last Question"
"I refuse to drink water, because of the disgusting things fish do in it"
W.C.Fields
Ray
--
"Insufficient data for a meaningful answer."
Isaac Asimov, "The Last Question"
"I refuse to drink water, because of the disgusting things fish do in it"
W.C.Fields
- supersparky
- Posts: 7235
- Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2012 7:00 pm
- Location: Home on the beautiful Gold Coast for a while.
Re: Naughty Monks
Ha ha. I wondered where that one was heading
Cheers
David
David and Terrie with Bandit the travelling companion
2006 Winnebago Alpine
Recently retired and loving it.
David
David and Terrie with Bandit the travelling companion
2006 Winnebago Alpine
Recently retired and loving it.
-
- Posts: 2152
- Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 10:16 pm
Irish Virginity Test Kit
Irish Virginity Test Kit.
Paddy is planning to marry, he is, and asks his family doctor how he could tell if his bride-to-be is still a virgin.
His doctor says, "Aye, Paddy, all Irish use three things for what we call a Do-It-Yourself Virginity Test Kit: a small can of red paint, a small can of blue paint and a shovel."
Paddy asks, "Aye, and how do I use these things, Doctor?"
The doctor replies, "Before ye climb into bed on your wedding night, you paint one of your balls red and the other ball blue.
If she says, 'That's the strangest pair of balls I ever did see...,' you hit her with the shovel."
PeterH
Paddy is planning to marry, he is, and asks his family doctor how he could tell if his bride-to-be is still a virgin.
His doctor says, "Aye, Paddy, all Irish use three things for what we call a Do-It-Yourself Virginity Test Kit: a small can of red paint, a small can of blue paint and a shovel."
Paddy asks, "Aye, and how do I use these things, Doctor?"
The doctor replies, "Before ye climb into bed on your wedding night, you paint one of your balls red and the other ball blue.
If she says, 'That's the strangest pair of balls I ever did see...,' you hit her with the shovel."
PeterH
PeterH