On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his Mercedes to a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside.
The pump attendant, who knows absolutely nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner, completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.
"Top of the mornin toyer sir", says the attendant.
Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.
"What are those?", asks the attendant.
"They're called tees" replies Tiger.
"Well, what on this God's earth are they for?", enquires the Irishman.
"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger.
"Fookin Jaysus", says the Irishman, "Mercedes thinks of everything!
Irishman & Golf
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Dot
- Posts: 24722
- Joined: Fri Nov 23, 2012 6:12 pm
- Location: Strathalbyn SA
- Been thanked: 37 times
Irishman & Golf
Queen of the Banal & OT chatter and proud of it. If it offends you then tough titty titty bang bang.
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Greynomad
- Posts: 9025
- Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2012 4:16 pm
- Location: Rutherglen, Vic.
- Has thanked: 28 times
- Been thanked: 61 times
Re: Irishman & Golf
GOOD ONE, DOTTIE!!!
Regards & God bless,
Ray
--
"Insufficient data for a meaningful answer."
Isaac Asimov, "The Last Question"
"I refuse to drink water, because of the disgusting things fish do in it"
W.C.Fields
Ray
--
"Insufficient data for a meaningful answer."
Isaac Asimov, "The Last Question"
"I refuse to drink water, because of the disgusting things fish do in it"
W.C.Fields
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Keith Morris
- Posts: 2569
- Joined: Fri Dec 28, 2012 11:09 am
- Location: WYALKATCHEM, WA
- Has thanked: 51 times
- Been thanked: 2 times
Re: Irishman & Golf
"tanks" here---joke for today
A little girl was leaning into a lion's cage in Taronga Zoo. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter and eat her all under the eyes of her screaming parents.
A Rebels biker wearing club patches, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain, the lion jumps back, letting go of the girl, and the biker brings the girl back to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.
ABC reporter Andrew Probyn has watched the whole event. Probyn, addressing the Rebels member says, "Sir, this was the most gallant and bravest thing I've seen a man do in my whole life. The Rebels guy replies, "Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and did what I felt was right".
Andrew Probyn "Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm an ABC journalist, you know, and tonight’s news will run this story. So, what do you do for a living, and what political affiliation do you have”?
The biker replies "I'm a Army veteran, a Liberal voter and I support Scott Morrison". Probyn leaves.
That night the biker turns on ABC News to see if it indeed brings news of his actions.
ABC Headline: RIGHT WING ARMY VETERAN ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH.
And THAT is pretty much sums up the ABC's approach to the news these days.
Keith.
A little girl was leaning into a lion's cage in Taronga Zoo. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter and eat her all under the eyes of her screaming parents.
A Rebels biker wearing club patches, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain, the lion jumps back, letting go of the girl, and the biker brings the girl back to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.
ABC reporter Andrew Probyn has watched the whole event. Probyn, addressing the Rebels member says, "Sir, this was the most gallant and bravest thing I've seen a man do in my whole life. The Rebels guy replies, "Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and did what I felt was right".
Andrew Probyn "Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm an ABC journalist, you know, and tonight’s news will run this story. So, what do you do for a living, and what political affiliation do you have”?
The biker replies "I'm a Army veteran, a Liberal voter and I support Scott Morrison". Probyn leaves.
That night the biker turns on ABC News to see if it indeed brings news of his actions.
ABC Headline: RIGHT WING ARMY VETERAN ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH.
And THAT is pretty much sums up the ABC's approach to the news these days.
Keith.
I'm now 87 years old, having experienced another birthday, and I'm still living in WA, single (gave up looking), white hair, no teeth, no money, no worries.
I plan to have another birthday next year.
I plan to have another birthday next year.
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Busman
- Posts: 1261
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- Location: Stanthorpe QLD
- Has thanked: 1 time
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Re: Irishman & Golf
Yep
Vanishing Point, almost ready to vanish
Suzuki GV more than ready to go NOW !
Suzuki GV more than ready to go NOW !