New Research Results

[Greynomad]

Hot News!!

Scientists in Canada have announced the discovery of the HEAVIEST element yet known to science.
At the moment, Canada is the leading producer of the new element. Although Australia is rapidly ramping up production, and expects to surpass the Canadians later this year.

The new element is GOVERNMENTIUM (Gv).
Its structure contains:
1 NEUTRON,
25 ASSISTANT NEUTRONS,
88 DEPUTY NEUTRONS and
198 ASSISTANT DEPUTY NEUTRONS,
giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called MORONS, which are surrounded by vast quantities of LEFTOVER-like particles called PEONS.
Since Governmentium has no ELECTRONS or PROTONS, it is atomically inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction which normally takes less than a second to be transformed into a process occupying anywhere from four days to four years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of four years.
It does not decay, losing any NEUTRONS, but instead undergoes periodic reorganization, in which a percentage of the ASSISTANT NEUTRONS and DEPUTY NEUTRONS exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s atomic mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more MORONS to become NEUTRONS, forming as a byproduct a large mass of ISODOPES.
This characteristic of MORON PROMOTION leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is spontaneously formed whenever MORONS reach a critical concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a CRITICAL MORASS.
When catalyzed with MONEY, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many PEONS but twice as many MORONS.
All of the MONEY is consumed in the exchange, and no other by-products are evident.

[Busman]

A perfect describer of our present government Ray, but I am sure that was your intention ?

[supersparky]

I reckon it could apply to any of our recent gubmints.
Albo might not be the best PM that we've ever had, but at least he's not the secret minister for everything.

[T1 Terry]

This element has been part of the private enterprise system for at least as long as the govt generated their versions, but it is called ADMINISTRATIUM and the lower levels of spinning matter and anti matter are known as Committeeium and rapidly become malignant by generating an ever increasing circle of committees that report back to the main committee and in turn these generate their own protective circle of committees until all the peons are converted to morons ..... then another committee is tasked to find more peons to supply the ever increasing ravenous needs of the ever increasing Comitteeium as a whole .....
The intellectual disease that all private enterprises contract after the ADMINISTRATIUM exceeds a certain mass, finally kills the host and the Administratium (smaller case to represent the lesser power) is taken over by a bigger ADMINISTRATIUM that will reshuffle the Adminstratium, sack many of the morons and peons to generate $$ and then sell off the Administratium to a group of unsuspecting morons and see if it can survive out in the wilds

T1 Terry