> My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
> I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
> 'No,' she answered.
> I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
>
> ... She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
> So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
>
> And that's when the fight started...
>
> ________________________________
>
> I took my wife to a restaurant.
>
> The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
>
> "I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
> He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
> "Nah, she can order for herself."
>
> And that's when the fight started.....
>
> _____________________________
>
> My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
> reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his
> drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
>
> I asked her, "Do you know him?"
> "Yes", she sighed,
> "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking
> right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he
> hasn't been sober since."
>
> "My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on
> celebrating that long?"
>
> And then the fight started...
>
> ________________________________
>
> When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me
> that I should get it fixed.
> But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the
> shed, the boat,
> making beer.. Always something more important to me.
>
> Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
> When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,
> busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
> scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into
> the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again
> I handed her a toothbrush.
>
> I said, "When you finish cutting the
> grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
>
> The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
>
> _____________________________
>
> My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
> She asked, "What's on TV?"
> I said, "Dust."
>
> And then the fight started...
>
> ________________________________
>
> Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and
> slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the
> boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential
> downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the
> garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather
> would be bad all day.
>
> I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into
> bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back;
> now with a different anticipation,
> and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
>
> My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid
> husband is out fishing in that?"
>
> And that's how the fight started...
>
> _______________________________
>
> My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
> She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
>
> I bought her a bathroom scale.
>
> And then the fight started......
>
> ______________________________
>
> After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply
> for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me
>
> for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets
>
> and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that
>
> I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
>
> The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
> So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
>
> She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and
> she processed my Social Security application.
>
> When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
> Social Security office.
>
> She said, 'You should have dropped
> your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'
>
> And then the fight started...
>
> ________________________________
>
> My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
>
> She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
> "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you
> to pay me a compliment.'
>
> I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
>
> And then the fight started........
>
> ________________________________
>
> I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!
>
> The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
> He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'
> So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'
>
> That's how the fight started.
>
> ________________________________
>
> One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot
> as a Christmas gift...
>
> The next year, I didn't buy her a gift
> When she asked me why, I replied,
> "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
>
> And that's how the fight started.
And Then The Fight Started.
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And Then The Fight Started.
Queen of the Banal & OT chatter and proud of it. If it offends you then tough titty titty bang bang.
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Re: And Then The Fight Started.
I've got tears rolling down my cheeks, I've never laughed so much.
Sharyn said the're old ones but I haven't seen them before.
Geoff
Sharyn said the're old ones but I haven't seen them before.
Geoff
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Re: And Then The Fight Started.
Some are just so true it's not funny 

Queen of the Banal & OT chatter and proud of it. If it offends you then tough titty titty bang bang.
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Re: And Then The Fight Started.
Joke of the day award again Dot. ROFLMAO again




Cheers
David
David and Terrie
2006 Winnebago Alpine
Not all who wander are lost.
David
David and Terrie
2006 Winnebago Alpine
Not all who wander are lost.
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Re: And Then The Fight Started.
Bought the daughter an I-Pod for her birthday, she thought I was the greatest
Bought the son a an I-Pad for his birthday and he was over the moon
bought the wife an I-ron for her birthday...........
Then the fight started
Bought the son a an I-Pad for his birthday and he was over the moon
bought the wife an I-ron for her birthday...........
Then the fight started
A person may fail many times, they only become a failure when they blame someone else John Burrows
Those who struggle to become a leader, rarely know a clear direction forward for anyone but themselves
Those who struggle to become a leader, rarely know a clear direction forward for anyone but themselves