And Then The Fight Started.

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Dot
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And Then The Fight Started.

Post by Dot »

> My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
> I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
> 'No,' she answered.
> I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
>
> ... She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
> So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
>
> And that's when the fight started...
>
> ________________________________
>
> I took my wife to a restaurant.
>
> The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
>
> "I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
> He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
> "Nah, she can order for herself."
>
> And that's when the fight started.....
>
> _____________________________
>
> My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
> reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his
> drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
>
> I asked her, "Do you know him?"
> "Yes", she sighed,
> "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking
> right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he
> hasn't been sober since."
>
> "My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on
> celebrating that long?"
>
> And then the fight started...
>
> ________________________________
>
> When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me
> that I should get it fixed.
> But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the
> shed, the boat,
> making beer.. Always something more important to me.
>
> Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
> When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,
> busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
> scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into
> the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again
> I handed her a toothbrush.
>
> I said, "When you finish cutting the
> grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
>
> The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
>
> _____________________________
>
> My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
> She asked, "What's on TV?"
> I said, "Dust."
>
> And then the fight started...
>
> ________________________________
>
> Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and
> slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the
> boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential
> downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the
> garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather
> would be bad all day.
>
> I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into
> bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back;
> now with a different anticipation,
> and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
>
> My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid
> husband is out fishing in that?"
>
> And that's how the fight started...
>
> _______________________________
>
> My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
> She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
>
> I bought her a bathroom scale.
>
> And then the fight started......
>
> ______________________________
>
> After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply
> for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me
>
> for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets
>
> and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that
>
> I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
>
> The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
> So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
>
> She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and
> she processed my Social Security application.
>
> When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
> Social Security office.
>
> She said, 'You should have dropped
> your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'
>
> And then the fight started...
>
> ________________________________
>
> My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
>
> She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
> "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you
> to pay me a compliment.'
>
> I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
>
> And then the fight started........
>
> ________________________________
>
> I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!
>
> The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
> He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'
> So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'
>
> That's how the fight started.
>
> ________________________________
>
> One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot
> as a Christmas gift...
>
> The next year, I didn't buy her a gift
> When she asked me why, I replied,
> "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
>
> And that's how the fight started.
Queen of the Banal & OT chatter and proud of it. If it offends you then tough titty titty bang bang.
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Boblebago
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Re: And Then The Fight Started.

Post by Boblebago »

I've got tears rolling down my cheeks, I've never laughed so much.
Sharyn said the're old ones but I haven't seen them before.

Geoff
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Dot
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Re: And Then The Fight Started.

Post by Dot »

Some are just so true it's not funny :D
Queen of the Banal & OT chatter and proud of it. If it offends you then tough titty titty bang bang.
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Re: And Then The Fight Started.

Post by supersparky »

Joke of the day award again Dot. ROFLMAO again :lol: :lol: :lol:
Cheers
David

David and Terrie
2006 Winnebago Alpine
Not all who wander are lost.
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T1 Terry
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Re: And Then The Fight Started.

Post by T1 Terry »

Bought the daughter an I-Pod for her birthday, she thought I was the greatest

Bought the son a an I-Pad for his birthday and he was over the moon

bought the wife an I-ron for her birthday...........

Then the fight started
A person may fail many times, they only become a failure when they blame someone else John Burrows
Those who struggle to become a leader, rarely know a clear direction forward for anyone but themselves

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