Arriving at the Pearly Gates...

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Chuck
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Arriving at the Pearly Gates...

Post by Chuck »

I've seen this a cupla times - others may not have...


All arrivals in heaven have to go through a bureaucratic examination to determine whether
admission will be granted. One room has a clerk who inputs computerized records of what each
applicant did on his or her last day of life.

The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was not a good one. "I came home early
and found my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed she had just gotten out of the shower. Well,
her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry too. I knew she was into some
hanky-panky and I began to look for her lover.

I went onto the balcony of our 9th floor apartment and found the SOB clinging to the rail by his
fingertips. I was so angry that I began bashing his fingers with a flower pot. He let go and fell, but his
fall was broken by some awnings and bushes. On seeing he was still alive I found super human strength
to drag our antique cedar chest to the balcony and throw it over. It hit the man and killed him. At this
point the stress got to me and I suffered a massive heart attack and died."
The clerk thanked him and sent him on to the waiting room.

The second applicant said that his last day was his worst. "I was on the roof of an apartment building
working on the AC equipment. I stumbled over my tools and toppled off the building. I managed to grab
onto the balcony rail of a 9th floor apartment but some idiot came rushing out on the balcony and bashed
my hands with a flower pot. I fell but hit some awnings and bushes and survived, but as I looked up I saw
a huge chest falling toward me. I tried to crawl out of the way but failed and was hit and killed by the chest."
The clerk couldn't help but chuckle as he directs the man to the waiting room.

He is still giggling when his third customer of the day enters. The clerk apologizes and says "I doubt that
your last day was as interesting as the two fellow that arrived here just before you."

The applicant responds:

"I don't know." "Picture this, I'm buck naked hiding in this cedar chest......"
Chuck & Catriana
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supersparky
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Re: Arriving at the Pearly Gates...

Post by supersparky »

It's an oldie but a goodie Chuck. :D
Cheers
David

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Dot
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Re: Arriving at the Pearly Gates...

Post by Dot »

supersparky wrote:It's an oldie but a goodie Chuck. :D
Bit like Chuck hey David? ;)
Queen of the Banal & OT chatter and proud of it. If it offends you then tough titty titty bang bang.
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Chuck
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Re: Arriving at the Pearly Gates...

Post by Chuck »

Yeah, definitely getting old.

Yesterday I wore a 2 toned blue polo shirt that the housekeeper had hung in the small wardrobe.

Wore it all day talking to various family members etc etc until, as I was cooking omelettes for the hungry mob, the youngest daughter - Simone - said.....

"Have you got your shirt on inside out?" :?

"Nah, course not!?" :roll:

"Then why are the 3 buttons facing in towards you & the tag on the back of the collar is facing out?" :shock:

:oops: :oops: :oops:

I must have words with that bloody housekeeper... fancy hanging the shirt up inside-bloody-out!! :twisted:
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Re: Arriving at the Pearly Gates...

Post by Dot »

I have no idea what the answer to that Q either ask Simone to Please explain, I do that with my clothes all the time!!
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Re: Arriving at the Pearly Gates...

Post by T1 Terry »

Chuck wrote:Yeah, definitely getting old.

Yesterday I wore a 2 toned blue polo shirt that the housekeeper had hung in the small wardrobe.

Wore it all day talking to various family members etc etc until, as I was cooking omelettes for the hungry mob, the youngest daughter - Simone - said.....

"Have you got your shirt on inside out?" :?

"Nah, course not!?" :roll:

"Then why are the 3 buttons facing in towards you & the tag on the back of the collar is facing out?" :shock:

:oops: :oops: :oops:

I must have words with that bloody housekeeper... fancy hanging the shirt up inside-bloody-out!! :twisted:
you get double the wear time between washes that way. If you wear a good casual shirt inside out when working it's just a quite reversal for that trip to Bunnings half way through the job to pick up what you forgot :lol:
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Chuck
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Re: Arriving at the Pearly Gates...

Post by Chuck »

Yeah Terry, I sorta do that with my jocks - but ya can't see them! :lol:
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Re: Arriving at the Pearly Gates...

Post by Dot »

Chuck wrote:Yeah Terry, I sorta do that with my jocks - but ya can't see them! :lol:
Maybe not but you can bloody well smell em at 100ft :roll: :lol:
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Chuck
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Re: Arriving at the Pearly Gates...

Post by Chuck »

Well... :oops: I've been known to brag before - but 100ft...
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