The Squirrell & The Grasshopper

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Dot
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The Squirrell & The Grasshopper

Post by Dot »

REST OF THE WORLD VERSION



The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter.


The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.

The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.



THE END


NOW THE AUSTRALIAN VERSION


The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.


The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.

A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving.


The ABC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.


The Australian press informs people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.


The Labour Party, The Greens, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Housing Commission of Australia demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house.


The ABC, interrupting an cultural festival special from St Kilda with breaking news, broadcasts a multi cultural choir singing 'We Shall Overcome'.


Bill Shorten rants in an interview with Laurie Oakes that the squirrel got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his 'fair share' and increases the charge for squirrels to enter Melbourne city centre.


In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The squirrel's taxes are reassessed.

He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders,for the work he was doing on his home, and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work.


The grasshopper is provided with a Housing Commission house, financial aid to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile. The squirrel's food is seized and re-distributed to the more needy members of society - in this case the grasshopper.


Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home.


The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to Australia as they had to share their country of origin with mice.


On arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of Australians' apparent love of dogs.

The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempted bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody.


Initial moves to make them return to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice.


The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from people's credit cards.

A 60 Minutes special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrel's food, though spring is still months away, while the Housing Commission house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it. He is shown to be taking drugs.


Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshopper's drug 'Illness'.

The cats seek recompense in the Australian courts for their treatment since arrival in Australia.

The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks.

He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him.

Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.

A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost $10 million and state the obvious, is set up.

Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers.

Legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased.

The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching Australia's multicultural diversity and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats.


The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose.

The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of prison.


They call for the resignation of a minister.

The cats are paid $1 million each because their rights were infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in Australia.


The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay for law and order, and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a shortfall in government funds.


This then, pretty much sums up what's happening in Australia today, Lucky country?


THE END
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T1 Terry
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Re: The Squirrell & The Grasshopper

Post by T1 Terry »

The Australian grasshopper thinks the squirrel is a fool because he should have stayed in his own country, he is not a naturalised or Australian born resident but rather an illegal emigrant and probably wasn't paying taxes anyway.
There was no mention of the cats head attire or whether they worshiped the great spaghetti monster and all pastafarian's are calling on a public inquiry regarding the beat up about recent animosity between dogs and cats and why the squirrel wasn't simply deported.
The dogs are claiming the cats were not actually hijackers but rather flown in on work visas and only when it was discovered they were temple cats and not mousers so the Australian cats demanded better pay and conditions as a consequence. The whole beat up about the cats being hijackers and escaping from the mice was just a ruse by the Liberal party Murdoch press to cover yet another bungle, the cats threatened to go public so were paid out hush money from the humble tax payer pockets.
Obviously this is one these emails designed to stir up hatred of grasshoppers and dogs, the dogs are objecting and the grass hopper is too high to care as he has just found the plantation the squirrel had hidden away in the bush, obviously the true source of his wealth and nothing to do with being a hard worker.

And this is pretty much the other side of the story to answer the twist putout by the right wing brigade ;)

The End... if only it was that easy
A person may fail many times, they only become a failure when they blame someone else John Burrows
Those who struggle to become a leader, rarely know a clear direction forward for anyone but themselves

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