Don't trust spellchecker

[BruceS]

Hi Bob,


This is Alan next door.

I’m sorry buddy, but I have a confession to make to you. I've been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face but I am at least now telling in text as I can’t live with myself a moment longer without you knowing.

The truth is, I have been sharing your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, probably more than you, particularly in the mornings after you've left for work. I haven’t been getting it at home recently, but that's no excuse I know. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies. My wife has known for some time now and I've promised her that it won't happen again.

Regards,
Alan

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The man, feeling anguished and betrayed, immediately went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife twice in the head and killed her. He returned to the lounge where he poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. He took out his phone to respond to the neighbours text and saw he had another message:-

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Hi Bob,

This is Alan next door again. Sorry about the slight typo on my last text, I expect you worked it out anyway but as you saw my spell checker changed ‘WiFi’ to Wife. Hope you saw the funny side of this!

Regards,
Alan

[T1 Terry]

The inventor of predictive text has died.
His funfair will be hello on Sundial.

May he restaurant in peanuts

[Dot]

typical men jumping to conclusions

[Jim]

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.