Aussie Cattle Dog.

Place your jokes in this section. A little naughty will be tolerated but please no really vulgar ones!!! If you might be offended it may be better to bypass this section!!!
User avatar
supersparky
Posts: 8788
Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2012 7:00 pm
Location: Home on the beautiful Gold Coast for a while.
Has thanked: 83 times
Been thanked: 67 times

Aussie Cattle Dog.

Post by supersparky »

I have just copied this from Aussie Motorhomers. with apologies to whoever I stole it from.

The Aussie Cattle Dog.

Malcolm Turnbull called Bill Shorten into his office recently and said, 'Bill, I have a great idea. We are going to go all out & talk to country voters.'

'Good idea Malcolm, how will we go about it?' said Bill.

'Well,' said Malcolm, 'We'll get ourselves one of those Driza Bone coats, some RM Williams boots, a stick & an Akubra hat.
Oh, and a blue cattle dog. Then we'll really look the part.
We'll go to a typical old outback country pub, we'll show we really enjoy the bush.'

'Right.' said Bill.
Days later, all kitted out & with the requisite blue heeler, they set off from Canberra in a westerly direction.
Eventually, they arrived at just the place they were looking for & found a typical outback pub.
They walked in with the dog & up to the bar.

'G'day mate,' said Malcolm to the bartender, 'two middies of your best beer.'

'Good afternoon Malcolm,' said the bartender, 'two middies of our best coming up.'

Turnbull & Shorten stood leaning on the bar drinking their beer and chatting, nodding now & again to whoever came into the bar for a drink. The dog lay quietly at their feet.
All of a sudden, the door from the adjacent bar opened & in came a grizzled old Stockman, complete with a stockwhip.
He walked up to the cattle dog, lifted its tail with the whip & looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders & walked back to the other bar.
A few moments later, in came another old stockman with his whip. He walked up to the dog & lifted its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head & went back to the other bar. Over the course of the next hour or so, another four or five stockmen came in & lifted the dogs tail and went away looking puzzled.
Eventually, Turnbull and Shorten could stand it no longer & called the barman over.

'Tell me,' said Shorten, 'why did all those old stockmen come in & look under the dog's tail like that? Is it an old outback custom?'

'Strewth no,' said the barman. 'Someone told 'em there was a cattle dog in the bar with two arseholes.'

Author unknown.
Cheers
David

David and Terrie
2006 Winnebago Alpine
Not all who wander are lost.
User avatar
Dot
Posts: 24724
Joined: Fri Nov 23, 2012 6:12 pm
Location: Strathalbyn SA
Been thanked: 37 times

Re: Aussie Cattle Dog.

Post by Dot »

:) :) :) :)
Queen of the Banal & OT chatter and proud of it. If it offends you then tough titty titty bang bang.
User avatar
T1 Terry
Posts: 15979
Joined: Fri Nov 23, 2012 3:44 pm
Location: Mannum South Australia by the beautiful Murray River
Has thanked: 51 times
Been thanked: 30 times

Re: Aussie Cattle Dog.

Post by T1 Terry »

I love the way a great old joke gets rehashed with new names :lol: Somehow I can't imagine Bill Shorten and Malcolm Turnbull drinking together and I can't see Malcolm lowering his standards to dink beer.......

Now, who in politics at the moment fits the fence tortoise? :lol:
A person may fail many times, they only become a failure when they blame someone else John Burrows
Those who struggle to become a leader, rarely know a clear direction forward for anyone but themselves
User avatar
Helen Grose
Posts: 2186
Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2013 8:20 pm
Has thanked: 1 time
Been thanked: 7 times

Re: Aussie Cattle Dog.

Post by Helen Grose »

ImageImageImageImageImage

Sent from my SM-G360G using Tapatalk
User avatar
Helen Grose
Posts: 2186
Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2013 8:20 pm
Has thanked: 1 time
Been thanked: 7 times

Re: Aussie Cattle Dog.

Post by Helen Grose »

ooops sorry wrong button again

Sent from my SM-G360G using Tapatalk
User avatar
supersparky
Posts: 8788
Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2012 7:00 pm
Location: Home on the beautiful Gold Coast for a while.
Has thanked: 83 times
Been thanked: 67 times

Re: Aussie Cattle Dog.

Post by supersparky »

Helen, Where did you take these pics? I was sort of expecting to see a cattle dog or a pollie having a beer in one of them.

T1, There have been a few pics in the Qld paper recently of Malcolm T having a beer. But it just doesn't look right. Not many of the pollies could do it as well as Bob Hawke could.
Cheers
David

David and Terrie
2006 Winnebago Alpine
Not all who wander are lost.
User avatar
Helen Grose
Posts: 2186
Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2013 8:20 pm
Has thanked: 1 time
Been thanked: 7 times

Re: Aussie Cattle Dog.

Post by Helen Grose »

the photoes was a wrong push of the buttoni thought i had comented on the joke Joke backfired as you will learn you never know what i will do next Dot no coment from you
the boring one

Sent from my SM-G360G using Tapatalk
User avatar
Dot
Posts: 24724
Joined: Fri Nov 23, 2012 6:12 pm
Location: Strathalbyn SA
Been thanked: 37 times

Re: Aussie Cattle Dog.

Post by Dot »

Bird sitter forgot so we are late heading off Remember no mobile for us. Nothing said OBO :)
Queen of the Banal & OT chatter and proud of it. If it offends you then tough titty titty bang bang.
User avatar
Helen Grose
Posts: 2186
Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2013 8:20 pm
Has thanked: 1 time
Been thanked: 7 times

Re: Aussie Cattle Dog.

Post by Helen Grose »

have a great time

Sent from my SM-G360G using Tapatalk
User avatar
supersparky
Posts: 8788
Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2012 7:00 pm
Location: Home on the beautiful Gold Coast for a while.
Has thanked: 83 times
Been thanked: 67 times

Re: Aussie Cattle Dog.

Post by supersparky »

Helen, You still haven't named the spot. It looks Ok. Is it in Vic?
Cheers
David

David and Terrie
2006 Winnebago Alpine
Not all who wander are lost.

Return to “Joker's Palace”