Catholic horses & protestant punters

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Chuck
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Catholic horses & protestant punters

Post by Chuck »

CATHOLIC HORSES

A punter was at the horse races playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt.

He noticed a Priest step out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race.

Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race.

Next race, as the horses lined up, the Priest stepped onto the track. Sure enough, he blessed one of the horses.

The punter made a beeline for a betting window and placed a small bet on the horse.

Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse won the race.

He collected his winnings, and anxiously waited to see which horse the Priest would bless next.

He bet big on it, and it won.

As the races continued the Priest kept blessing long shots, and each one ended up winning.

The punter was elated. He made a quick dash to the ATM, withdrew all his savings, and awaited for the Priest's blessing that would tell him which horse to bet on ..

True to his pattern, the Priest stepped onto the track for the last race and blessed the forehead of an old nag that was the longest shot of the day.

This time the priest blessed the eyes, ears, and hooves of the old nag. The punter knew he had a winner and bet every cent he owned on the old nag.

He watched dumbfounded as the old nag came in last. In a state of shock, he went to the track area where the Priest was.

Confronting Him, he demanded, 'Father! What happened? All day long you blessed horses and they all won. Then in the last race, the horse you blessed lost by a mile. Now, thanks to you I've lost every cent of my savings!'.

The Priest nodded wisely and with sympathy...

'Son,' he said, 'that's the problem with you Protestants, you can't tell the difference between a simple blessing and last rites.' :shock:
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BillieBlue
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Re: Catholic horses & protestant punters

Post by BillieBlue »

Good one. :lol: :lol: :lol:
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T1 Terry
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Re: Catholic horses & protestant punters

Post by T1 Terry »

Paddy and Mic are at the greyhound racing and not doing well at all. Paddy turns to Mic and says "I've noticed a pattern with the winner of every race"
"Go on" says Paddy with interest.
"Well, the rabbit is always out in front as they cross the line"
So Mic and Paddy decide they won't bet on the next race but just watch the rabbit. Sure enough it gets the jump on the dogs and wins by a narrow margin.
They pool their remaining money together and ask the bookies in the ring if they can get odds on the rabbit. They all laugh and turn away but one, he offers 10:1 on the rabbit being declared the winner.
This looks like a sure bet to Paddy And Mic so they put the lot on the rabbit for a win.
Off they go, the rabbit just in front for the whole race and just bets the dogs across the line.
Paddy and Mic front up to the bookmaker eager for their winnings. The bookmaker looks down off his stand and says, "you both saw it win, I saw it win, but let's wait for the photo shall we"
A person may fail many times, they only become a failure when they blame someone else John Burrows
Those who struggle to become a leader, rarely know a clear direction forward for anyone but themselves

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