Blonde,s again...

[norman]

A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip
Of her index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the Emergency
Room doctor asked her.

'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied.

'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting
Off your finger?'

'No, Silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, &
Then I thought, 'I just paid $6,000.00 for these implants...

I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'

'So then?' asked the doctor.

'Then I put the gun in my mouth, & I thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00
To get my teeth straightened I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'

'So then?'

'Then I put the gun to my ear, & I thought: 'This is going to make a
Loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the
Trigger.

[T1 Terry]

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no
lessons or prior experience.

She mounts the horse, unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into
action.. As it gallops along at its steady and rhythmic pace, the blonde begins
to slip from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm
grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but despite her
best efforts, slides down the horse's flanks.

The horse continues to gallop along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping
rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from
the horse and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup.

She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is
struck against the ground time and time again.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away
from unconsciousness when to her great fortune, Frank, the Woolworth's
trolley boy, sees her dilemma and unplugs the horse.

[Dot]

[graynomad]

Both hilarious.

[Dot]

A blonde walks into a bank in Sydney and asks for the loan officer.

> She says she's going to Hong Kong on business for two weeks and needs to

> borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of

> security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new

> Mercedes. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she

> has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the

> car as collateral for the loan. The bank's manager and its officers

> all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Mercedes as

> collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then

> proceeds to drive the Mercedes into the bank's underground garage and

> parks it there.

Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the

> interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan office says, "Miss, we are

> very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked

> out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we

> checked you out and found that you are a millionaire. What puzzles us

> is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" The blonde replies...

> "Where else in Sydney can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and

> expect it to be there when I return?"

("Which Bank?")

>