Politically incorrect

[GregnDee]

I'm about to take part in the Great Western Suburbs Run It's not an official race, I just stand outside the Lakemba shops & shout "Allah is a wanker" & then off we go...

A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to Australia so that they can see their own doctor.

I've just fitted strobe lights in the bedroom. . . . . .It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.

Two Thai girls asked me if I'd like to go bed with them, they said it would be just like winning the lottery! I agreed, and they were right. We all stripped off and to my horror, we had six matching balls!

Such an unfair world:- When a man talks dirty to a woman its considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man its $2.50/min (charges may vary).

Just booked a table for Valentine's Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though; she's crap at snooker.

Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then. God, I love my new taser!

Got a new Jack Russell pup today, he's mainly black and brown with just a small white area. I've called him Western Sydney.

If you get an email telling you that you can catch swine flu from tins of ham then delete it. It's spam.

They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 3 months is going to shift this belly!

[T1 Terry]

"It's a boy, it's a boy" he shouted as he ran from the Thai brothel.......

Took the 22 yr old girl friend to the local as a special treat but all the drinkers there shouted things like rock spider and paedophile, completely ruined our 10th anniversary celebrations.....

I asked the misses why women don't speak during foreplay, she said she couldn't talk fast enough to get a whole word out........

I've found an amazing new pick up line, gets the girls falling in your arms every time, "Does this hankie smells like chloroform to you.......

My new girlfriend thinks I'm stalking her, well technically she isn't my new girl friend yet, but.......