Aphorisms For The Year

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It's not whether you win or lose,
but how you place the blame.



You are not drunk
if you can lie on the floor
without holding on.


We have enough "youth".

How about a fountain of "smart"?


The original point and click interface
was a Smith & Wesson.

A Fool and his money
can throw one heck of a party


When blondes have more fun,do they know it?


Five days a week my body is a temple.
The other two it's an amusement park.


LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES
USE BIRTH CONTROL

Money isn't everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch.


Don't Drink and Drive
You might hit a bump and spill something.


If at first you don't succeed
skydiving is not for you


Reality is only an illusion
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.


We are born naked, wet and hungry.
Then things get worse.

Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.


Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers
give the rest a bad name.


Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge
to produce reproductive organs.


Alabama state motto:

At least we're not Mississippi


ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO
MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.


The latest survey shows that
three out of four people make
up 75% of the population


"You know why a banana is like a politician?"

"He comes in and first he is green,

then he turns yellow

and then he's rotten."


"I think Congressmen should wear uniforms,

you know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could

identify their corporate sponsors."



The reason Politicians try so

hard to get re-elected is that they

would 'hate' to have to make a living

under the laws they've passed.