Golden Syrup

[Dot]

A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Xmas fancy- dress party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem.

A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:

Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a Pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a Pirate.



The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint.. A week passes and he receives another parcel and note:


Dear Sir,
Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part.



The man is really incandescent with rage now, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes a really strong letter of complaint.



A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with the accompanying letter



Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup. We suggest you pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald head, let it harden, then stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple.

[SteveW]

That's insensitive to Ray, Dot. The first line brought an instant image of a bald man with his recently smashed-up leg.

[Greynomad]

Steve,
I think I can handle it...
Good thing I don't have a wooden leg.
Mine's Titanium-reinforced meat... both of them, come to think of it.
Along with my left Humerus.
The airline security people don't trust me.
They keep frisking me, looking for a concealed AK-47 in my leg.

[SteveW]

Steve,
I think I can handle it...
Good thing I don't have a wooden leg.
Mine's Titanium-reinforced meat... both of them, come to think of it.
Along with my left Humerus.
The airline security people don't trust me.
They keep frisking me, looking for a concealed AK-47 in my leg.

That's not humerus at all!

[T1 Terry]

I thought he was pulling our leg regarding the titanium funny bone

[Greynomad]

T1,
I'll pay that one!