Scottish wedding...

[Chuck]

Two Glaswegians, Archie and Jimmy, are sitting in the pub discussing Jimmy's forthcoming wedding.

"Och, it's all goin' purrre brrrilliant," says Jimmy. "Ah've got everrrythin' orrrganised awrrready, the fluerrrs, the churrrch, the caurrrs, the rrreception, the rrrings, the ministerrr, even ma stag night."

Archie nods approvingly.

"I've even bought a kilt to be marrrried in!" continues Jimmy.

"A kilt?" exclaims Archie, "That's magic, you'll look purrre smarrrt in that.

What's the tarrrtin?...."

"Och," says Jimmy, "Not surrre, imagine she'll be in white."