Recycled Christmas Jokes

[Greynomad]

It's that time of year again folks!


Time to dredge up those old jokes that come with the silly hats and useless plastic trinkets in the Christmas Bon-bons.

Here's my contribution:

Did you hear about the dyslexic man who sold his soul to Santa?


Feel free to add your favourite recycled Christmas Joke here. -------------> []

[Dot]

OK you asked for it.
Why doesn't santa have any kids?
Because he only comes once a year and when he does it's down a chimney.

[SteveW]

Thank God Christmas only comes around once a year! Oh! It is His fault.

[Greynomad]

Q: How do you confuse an Irishman?

A: Show him a bunch of shovels & tell him to take his pick.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I'm of Irish descent... therefore I'm allowed to tell that one.

[Noggins]

Not exactly recycled Christmas

santa's jeep - Copy.jpg

seasonal-celebrations-christmas-santa_claus-drunk_driver-driving_drunk-drunk-dcln80_low.jpg

santa_and_rudolph_1093125.jpg

santa_park.jpg

secret_santa_1539045.jpg

This is more like me at that time of the year

santa.png

This is why some cats are a neurotic mess

timthumb.php.jpg

[T1 Terry]

How did Mary & Joseph know the babies birth weight?

They had a weigh in the manger ........

[Greynomad]

Small boy in Kindergarten Sunday School joined in enthusiastically when teacher asked them to draw the scene from "Silent Night": the manger & baby Jesus with Mary, Joseph & the wise men.
When he showed it to the teacher, in the background was what appeared to be a snowman.
Not wishing to upset the boy, she gently asked, "And who is that in the back?"
"Oh," replied boy, "that's Round John Virgin!"

[T1 Terry]

My friend entered a pun contest. He entered ten, figuring at least one of them would win, but no pun in ten did.

[Greynomad]

Q: What do you call a horse in its pyjamas?

A: A Zebra



Q: What’s half of infinity?

A: Nitty



Q: Why do cows lay down together when it rains?

A: To keep each udder dry.



Q: What do ghosts eat?

A: Ghoul-lash

(Don’t blame me. They were in our Christmas Bonbons!

[Greynomad]

Some of the refreshments at the Community Lunch:

72545C4E-B53F-401B-9764-75D802E3CD21.jpeg

Note the words after Great Northern Brewing.
It might be the “Beer for up here”, but brewed by Carlton United Brewery in Melbourne.

(Damn! I thought I was being clever laying the can on its side. Bl**dy phone turned the pic the wrong way. )

Take two:

E0E8F264-4760-4893-BBD3-DA3F8EC34076.jpeg