Perfect woman

[RussellB[SA]]

One day a bloke decides to retire........



He booked
Himself on a Pacific
Cruise and proceeded to have the
Time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.


He soon found himself
On an island with no other people,
No supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.



After
About four months,
He is lying on the beach one day
When the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.

In disbelief,
He asks, "Where did you
Come from? How did you get here?"

She replies,
"I rowed over from the other side
Of the island where I landed when my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing," he notes.
"You were really lucky to
Have a rowing boat wash up with you."

"Oh, this thing?"
Explains the woman.
"I knocked up the boat out
Of some raw material I found
On the island. The oars were whittled
From gum tree branches. I wove the bottom
From palm tree branches, and the sides
And stern came from a
Eucalyptus tree."

"But, where
Did you get the tools?"

"Oh, that was no problem,"
Replied the woman. "On the
South side of the island, a very
Unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed.
I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln,
It melted into ductile iron and I used that
To make tools and used the tools to
Make the hardware."

The bloke is stunned.

"Let's row over to my place,"
She says "and I'll give you a tour."
So, after a short time of rowing, she soon
Docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man
Looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat.
Before him is a long stone walk
Leading to a cabin and
Tree house.

While the woman ties up the

Boat with an expertly woven hemp rope, The man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into The house, she says casually, "It's not much, But I call it home. Please sit down."

"Would you like a drink?"

"No! No thank you,"
The man blurts out, still dazed.
"I can't take another drop of coconut juice."

"Oh it's not coconut juice," winks the woman.
"I have a still. How would you like a Tropical Spritz?"



Trying to hide his continued amazement,
The man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk.
After they exchange their individual survival stories, the woman announces,
"I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you
Like to take a shower and shave? There's a razor
In the bathroom cabinet upstairs."

No longer questioning anything,
The man goes upstairs into the bathroom.
There, in the cabinet is a razor made from a
Piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow
Ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism.

"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What's next?" When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing But some small flowers on tiny vines, Each strategically positioned,
She smelled faintly of Gardenias. She then Beckons for him
To sit down Next to Her.

"Tell me,” She begins suggestively, Slithering closer to him, "We've
Both been out here for many months. You must have been lonely. When was the
Last time you played around? She stares into his eyes.

He can't believe what he’s hearing. "You mean..." he swallows
Excitedly as tears Start to form In his eyes,
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
"You’ve built a Golf Course?"



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"The enlightenment is under threat. So is reason. So is truth. So is science … We have to devote a significant proportion of our time and resources to defending it from deliberate attack from organized ignorance …" - Richard Dawkins.
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