Religious Nags

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A punter was at the Horse Races *playing the ponies* and was ALL but losing his shirt' ...
He noticed a Priest step out onto the track , and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race ..
Lo and behold , that Horse { a very long shot } , WON the race ..
Next race , as the Horses lined up , the Priest stepped onto the track again ..
Sure enough , he blessed one of the Horses ..
The punter made a bee-line for a betting window , and placed a small bet on the Horse ..
Again , even though it was another *long shot* , the horse WON the race ..
He collected his winnings , and anxiously waited to see which horse the Priest would bless next ..??
He bet BIG on it , and it won ..
As the races continued , the Priest kept "blessing" longshots , and each one ended up WINNING ..
The punter was Elated ..
He made a quick dash to the ATM , withdrew ALL his worldly savings , and awaited for the Priest's blessing that would tell him which Horse to bet on ..
True to his pattern , the Priest stepped onto the track for the LAST race and blessed the forehead of an 'old nag' that was the longest shot of the day ..
This time the Priest blessed the *eyes, ears, and hooves* of the 'old nag' ..
The Punter KNEW he had a Winner , and bet every Penny he OWNED on the old nag ..
He watched dumbfounded as the 'old nag' came in LAST ..
In a state of shock , he went to the Track area where the Priest was ..
Confronting him , he demanded , ''Father , Father ..! ...
WHAT happened..???
All day long you blessed horses and they all won ..
Then in the last race , the horse you blessed LOST by a mile ...
Now , thanks to you , I've lost every penny of my savings"...!!!!
The Priest nodded wisely , and with SYMPATHY said ,
'' Son , That's the problem with you f*kkin Protestants ,
you can't tell the Difference between a simple "Blessing" ,
and The "Last Rites" ..

[T1 Terry]

Mick and Paddy were at the greyhounds, betting heavily and loosing every time. The last race iscoming up and Mick turns to Paddy, I've been watching all day and I reckon I've got it sorted ..... the rabbit always comes in first ...... So they go back to the bookie who has taken all their money so far today and asks the odds on the rabbit. Without even blinking he gives 100/1 on the rabbit being declared the winner. So Paddy and Mick put everything on the rabbit for a win, even the car .......
The race is run and sure enough, they both see the rabbit cross the line first, so they head up to the bookie to get their winnings.
The bookie listens to their claim and then say "you both saw the rabbit come in first, I saw the rabbit come in first, but let's wait for the official photo and see what that shows ......."