Paddy replies "no tanks, oi've only got a small backyard."
++++++++++++++
Paddy and Mick found 3 hand grenades and decided to take them to the police station.
Mick "What if one explodes before we get there?"
Paddy: "We'll lie and say we only found two!"
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A coach load of paddies on a mystery tour decided to run a sweepstake to guess where they were going..... the driver won £52!
++++++++++++++++++++
Joe says to Paddy: "Close your curtains the next time you're making love to your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."
Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them because I wasn't even at home yesterday."
+++++++++++++++++++
The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. They imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil.
+++++++++++++++++++
Paddy says to Mick - I'm ready for a holiday, only this year I'm going to do it a bit different. 3 years ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant. 2 years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant. Last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant."
Mick asks - So what are you going to do this year?."
Paddy replies, - I'll take her with me!"
+++++++++++++++++++
Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on a Friday this year"
Mick says "Let's hope it's not the 13th."
++++++++++++++++++++
Paddy's in the bathroom and Murphy shouts to him. "Did you find the shampoo?
Paddy says, "Oi did, but it's for dry hair and I've just wet mine."
I do apoligise if posted before, the guiness has got me a we bit confused.
